It's ALWAYS Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!

In many ways Jimmy still remained and only child even after my birth. My mother was sickened over my brother's mysterious, and abrupt emotional and developmental "shut down." She started to sink into deep denial, and who can blame her? Denial is so much better than the real thing. She prayed a lot and clung onto her faith. She never stopped believing Jimmy would one day, no doubt be miraculously better. She also interpreted her epiphany as a message that like Virgin Mary, she too would have a special son.
My father routinely went to the office daily from 7am-7pm. It was his escapism. His inability to cope with my brother put a horrible strain on their relationship. My mother felt abandoned and my father felt trapped. They had a complete role reversal. Often arguments ensue throughout the day for various reasons. It could be as small as not passing the salt to as big as neglecting something of dire importance. There was ALWAYS screaming in our house. Partially because we're Greek and it's in our nature and partly because everyone was ready to snap at any given moment. Walking on eggshells was the only way we walked. The only time it was quiescent was when we were eating, except for my father who LOVED to tell long winded stories with his mouth open. It really spun my mother into the Tasmanian devil when spit flew all over the table. That was ALWAYS a lesson NEVER learned and an inevitable dinner battle, which usually resulted with my father stomping from the dinner table and refusing to eat! The other time we had peace in the house was when we all went to sleep....when we could sleep. My father had insomnia and usually ingested a bottle of sleeping pills to knock himself out. After a month he built a tolerance and would usually retreat to the kitchen at midnight and challenge himself to eating everything in our fridge. Jimmy, also started developing interrupted sleeping patterns. He was wide awake ALL night. This took a toll on my mother who insisted on staying up with him in effort to monitor his every move. He seemed to be regressing and progressing simultaneously. this made my mother insane with confusion. My mother exhausted herself exerting every ounce of her energy on my brother. I was never neglected as a baby or child, but Jimmy was ALWAYS the priority, not more important, simply more in need. Eventually this plagued my mother with guilt. She wanted me to have a playmate to keep me company. A year and a half after I was born my sister, Joanna was introduced to the family. She looked like an angel, but had the misleading etiquette of Mussolini. In fact, that was her nick name. The minute she could spit out a word, she started bossing me around. She wasted no time marking her territory. My mother found it endearing and encouraged her demanding, bratty behavior. In fact, she praised it. It was evident she was the baby in the family, and true to their reputation she was SPOILED! It didn't take long to realize that my mother's good intentioned plan of gracing me with a playmate, turned out to be tormenting me with a Warden. Unfortunately, my mother was too nervous to even notice. If she heard us fighting, she would simply encourage us to get along with a spanking. Growing up, my biggest fear manifested into reality...I was officially Jan Brady, my sister was Cindy Brady, and I think we can guess who Marcia Brady was. It was ALWAYS Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!

Born A Winner!

Yianni and Despina virtual strangers now found themselves functioning as a team. Yianni still seemed so perplexing to Despina. He was unkempt, dishevelled and completely socially unaware. How was this severely eccentric man not ONLY functional but mildly successful? He owned his own Real Estate business and was by his own admission a highly skilled salesman. His peculiar habits bordered on "disorders' and Despina being under qualified to diagnose him could only pray it would pass. Despina started to feel dubious. Had she made the single most tragic mistake in her short life by marrying this man? Perhaps her own ambition lead her to a path that was destined to perdition. Was America, fame and success worth being welded to an "abnormal" husband? Before she could make up her mind or weigh in the ramifications of her decision....she found herself pregnant. Life was going swimmingly, and the only thing missing was a baby to bind their rocky beginning in chains. Now Despina was officially committed to this marriage. In short, she was TRAPPED!



Being pregnant with Yianni as your co-pilot was very tricky. Despina found herself with a packed suitcase several times before Yianni talked her into a second chance. My Mother had an epiphany while she was pregnant. She saw the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. She was very religious so in Despina's mind this had a significant meaning. When Despina gave birth it was a boy. She named him Dimitrios after her father. ALL Greeks name their children after their parents. In my family people have two names: Dimitiros and Irene. Despina beamed with pride and doted over her newborn. She was also thrilled to have a distraction from Yianni. Jimmy, (as we called him in English), was a Godsend. He was extremely bright with accelerated learning skills. Despina was flabbergasted with Jimmy's ability to pick up and figure tings out at such an infantile state. He was the toast of the family, and he made her apparent mistake of marrying Yianni seem worthwhile...UNTIL that dim day that Jimmy stopped talking. He stopped interacting and became unfocused. It was like someone pulled the plug from Jimmy. It was sudden and devastating! This continued for 2 years. Above all heartbreak, Jimmy lost his ability to express love and affection. Everyday Despina held her breath waiting for Jimmy to say ANYTHING, but that day never came and with each passing day her denial grew and her hope faded. She took Jimmy to multiple doctors, but his "condition" was inexplicable. They could only conclude he was mentally retarded and "something else," which remained inconclusive. This void left Despina ramped with speculations. Maybe it was the spinal tap they gave my Jimmy? The doctors assured her the vaccination was not the causation of his apparent problem. In fact they suggested it was ludicrous! Two years following Jimmy's birth, Despina and Yianni decided they wanted to try again. Despite their anguish and struggle during the past couple years they made the decision to give Jimmy a sibling. Who knows maybe this would "snap him out of it." Above all, I believe they wanted another child to salvage their own sanity. They were both terrified and excited when Despina found herself pregnant with number two. She needed to have a "normal' baby. She didn't want another "sick" baby, as they referred to them in Greece. The pressure was intense. I felt her umbilical cord dancing around my neck. The fetus is suppose to feel the emotional and physical state of their mother. I felt hope mingled with fear. I was a whopping 10lbs when I was born. I was a born beauty queen, literally. As immoral as this may sound...and I don't agree with it one bit! I actually won a baby contest the day I was born. Yes! I was the cutest baby born that day in Beth Israel Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. I won a little crown and a little sash that read: Baby Beth Israel 1966. My mother was beaming with pride. I renewed her faith. Until this very day, when I'm feeling like a loser, and underachiever or devalued...I remind myself: "Kid, you were born a winner! And don't you forget it!"

Yianni & Despina

My Parents were an arranged marriage. Yianni, my father was quite the eligible bachelor. He 'struck out' profusely in Sommerville, Massachusetts. So his overbearing Greek mother flew him on a plane to the remote island of Chios, Greece where she had some distant relatives and close friends. Who knows? Maybe a desperate villager struggling to feed his family would gladly sign over their daughter for a more fortunate life in America. Despina, (my mother), who was lost in a shuffle to a litter of seven held the winning ticket in her hand that fateful day when my grandmother came knocking on their door with the prize at her side. Yianni, (my father), really stood out! He was 5'10" tall and about 6 ft wide. Sure in America Yianni was considered a "fatty," but in Greece he had the equal integrity of a NFL linebacker. He seemed towering to my mother who was a farm girl just under 5 ft. He was a massive man from America and was interested in Despina, who was a goat milking fidget. They scheduled an engagement dinner at my mother's house for the two families. Yianni, made an immediate impression on my mother when he savagely consumed an entire orange with the peel intact. Despina, was immediately confused and assumed this was either customary or idiosyncratic of ALL Americans.



Yianni immediately mesmerized Despina (in his badly broken Greek), with "Big Fish" stories which included all the ingredients of a 'best seller.' He was an intrepid success in America! Apparently, rubbing elbows with the affluent, massively wealthy and famous, not to mention infamous.. He had Despina hook, line and sinker. Being inexperienced, sheltered and naive, Despina was hypnotized with Yianni's 'economy size' bullshit! He continued to impress her with his supposed close friendship with the Kennedy's. He even went as far as to say, he frequently barbecued with the Kennedy's in his backyard. And would on occasion accompany other prominent political figures on yachting excursions. His yacht of course! Despina, was beside herself! Could it be that in this distant town Chios, she actually hit the jack pot??? She would no doubt be famous herself, merely by association. Her ship or rather yacht came in and she was going to be on board! She was a huge fan of the Kennedy's and agreed to be his wife. Fully aware of the "no backies" policy both families agreed on. The families then literally arranged the marriage and they were married in Greece. Both my parents were virgins, and woefully unprepared for not ONLY life, but the simple task of consummating their union. I imagine playing a game of twister with sun tan oil in the dark, was less arduous than Yianni, locating the appropriate oriphice to "seal the deal."



Shortly after the wedding, Despina was plucked out of her goat milking, olive growing village and re-rooted int he historical town of Lexington, Massachusetts. Where she found herself in a foreign land, without her family and was soon left with the frightful realization that Americans did indeed peel their oranges before consuming them. Clearly, Yianni never went to 'finishing school,' and Despina who was OBSESSED with etiquette found this to be a possible grounds for an annulment. Now the only thing she had to look forward to was sharing a souvlaki or a hot dog with Jackie O at one of Yianni's high profile barbeque's. Needless to say, the summer came and went and the ONLY time Despina saw the Kennedy's was on TV or on the cover of a magazine. In short, Despina was officially and thoroughly shattered of all hope. She was left with the gravitational pull of reality that Yianni, had a little bit of a LYING PROBLEM!